The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

This is a movie that did not need to be remade. This is also a movie that the remake could have have been a complete waste of celluloid. I'm happy to say that it isn't a total loss but there's still that bit lacking in making it as good as the original.

The story remains the same. Five kids are on their way through Texas and then everything gets a little crazy and people start dying, mainly by chainsaw. Jessica Biel and R. Lee Ermey play the two main characters, prey and hunter, respectively. There are some good scares and some decent gore and great gratuitous shots of Biel running through the rain and getting wet. What it's missing is the original's sustained terror that kept you on the edge of your seat and praying for it to be over. There are too many lulls in the action for this to happen and the killing is a far cry from the quick dismemberment of the group in the original.

My main faults with the film besides the lull in the terror, were the facts that the characterization of the teens is the cliched horny teen stereotype that smokes dope and that Ermey, despite a great performance, really detracts from the existence of Leatherface as the main villain and in fact ends up scarier than our patchwork-faced predator. There were also too many family members in the Leatherface clan, making it less a spooky cluster of men and more just a retarded family that liked to kill. What they did with the bodies is also glossed over. In the original we were pretty sure that they became BBQ and that the kids in the beginning were in fact eating other victims gave it a creepier feel. Jessica getting retribution against her antagonists was useless too.

Don't let all this stop you. Compared to the original it doesn't shine as bright but it's still one of the better horror efforts this year and well worth a viewing. Add in a John Laroquette VO and a documentary angle bookending the film and you have quite a wild ride that will have you gripping your seat and probably your pants as you watch Biel scream and bounce her way through her ordeal. Check it out.