Shatter Dead

I figured I needed to put some reviews of movies that aren't that good on the site in order to balance it out and not make it look like everything gets a high rating and to prove that I do indeed sit through some rancid shit in my movie watching endeavours in order to find the good stuff.

Shatter Dead is a horrible movie. The acting is terrible. The fx are for shit. The music would make Philip Glass shudder in its awfulness. There is so much that is so wrong about this movie it would be tough to list it in the space I want to allot to it.

This travesty to cinema is about a lady who gets impregnated by the angel of death and now people don't die, they become zombies and walk around homeless stealing gasoline. Of course, you only know this if you read the back of the box because nowhere in this fucking movie do they give you an idea what is going on. There's a chick on her way home from buying groceries I guess, and it takes her the whole movie to get there for some reason. She's trying to get back to her boyfriend, a dirty hippy who is depressed that the dead keep calling him on the phone. She gets naked eventually with another girl and they're both so ugly and untrimmed that it would make you gouge your eyes out immediately so you don't have to see anything that horrible again. Check that, look at some pictures of hot girls and then gouge your eyes out so the hideous beasts from this movie won't be the last sight you ever see.

I had heard good things about this movie and heard it had good gore and was a great flick. Apparently this was a defense mechanism used by people so that they don't have to be the only people on earth who have seen this piece of trash. Some people defend it saying it had good ideas. Yeah, well they didn't do anything with them so it's kind of a moot point. I don't recommend it at all unless you hate yourself. Then by all means inflict this pain on yourself. Then cry the tears you cry when seeing something that makes Titanic look like a work of art.