Sunday, February 22, 2009

Alien vs. Predator 2: The Crappening

I don't know why I thought the second AVP would be better than the first, which was a letdown. If at all possible, it was actually worse, which is odd when you think a movie such at this should be a slam dunk. You have Aliens. You have a Predator. You have them fight. The end. The part they all get hung up on is including humans for drama. Personally, I don't give a shit about them. I'm not watching Alien vs. Predator vs. Steve. I'm watching AVP. It doesn't help that you don't particularly care for any of them anyway. Look, a mom who just got back from war. A man who got out of prison and who is just trying to help his family. A sheriff who uses all the hair gel in the state of Colorado on a daily basis. Ugh. Stay away. Even the fights, which should be good, are terrible, mainly due to it being so damn dark when they fight in sewers and at night and in various locations where it is pitch black. If they do a third movie, they should do it right and ignore the humans. And include more than one predator for land's sake. I know they're a hunting species but it doesn't say much for their aptitude when they get wiped out in the first five minutes and their backup is a lone predator from a galaxy away.

Highlights of the film include an arming up sequence with the Predator as he loots weapons from a ship and then sets it to explode before he's even done loading up so he can run out before it detonates and jump and be all cool. Also, there's death by glaive, or the predator equivalent. It came as a surprise and I wish he used them more.

Lowlights include a cast you don't care for, save for little Shawn from Psych at the beginning. There's also changes to the Alien biology with how the Predalien reproduces. I'm pretty sure that while they take on some characteristics of their host when they're impregnated, it doesn't change them so drastically where they've evolved over one generation. It's mainly done for shock value but just comes off as lame. I think they also got some Predator history wrong, as the one in this movie skins a cop he kills. In the first movie there were some skinned bodies but I always thought that was attributed to the rebels, not the predator, who likes skulls instead.

If you're a fan of the movies, I guess you'll see this, otherwise, you might want to stay away and watch something that delivers the goods.

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